I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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