Got a toothbrush?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
