I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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