i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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