no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
