if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
