We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
