people are starting to question the shark bite story
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
