it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
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I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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