i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
