Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
