well you can't waste a boner
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
