they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
