you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
