so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
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Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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