Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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