god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
