just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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