Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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