Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
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FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
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Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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