i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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