Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
