How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He felt like a one man threesome
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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