So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
