I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
