just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize