I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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