There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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