after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
