Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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