ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Your dad touched me again.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize