I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
