so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
