I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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