If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
