uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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