i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
