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im holly from the hills drunk
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
