She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
