My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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