Already got asked if we're dating
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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