You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
