Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
