I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
