wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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