And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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