Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
