is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
COCAINE IS GR8
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
