you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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