Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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