I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
