there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
