Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize