sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
