Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
