What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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