he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
