i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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