Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
